Macavity: the Mystery Cat

 

Macavity's a Mystery Cat:

He's called the Hidden Paw

For he's the master criminal who can defy the law

He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard,

The Flying Squad's despair

For when they reach the scene of crime

Macavity's not there!

 

Macavity, Macavity,

There's no one like Macavity

He's broken every human law

He breaks the law of gravity

His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare

And when you reach the scene of crime

Macavity's not there!

 

You may seek him in the basement

0 You may look up in the air

But I tell you once and once again,

Macavity's not there!

 

Macavity's a ginger cat,

He's very tall and thin;

You would know him if you saw him,

For his eyes are sunken in

His brow is deeply lined with thought,

His head is highly domed;

His coat is dusty from neglect,

His whiskers are uncombed.

 

He sways his head from side to side

With movements like a snake;

And when you think he's half asleep,

He's always wide awake!

 

Macavity, Macavity

There's no one like Macavity

For he's a fiend in feline shape,

A monster of depravity

You may meet him in a by-street

You may see him in the square

But when a crime's discovered there

Macavity's not there!

 

He's outwardly respectable

I know he cheats at cards

And his footprints are not found in any file

Of Scotland Yard's.

 

And when the larder's looted

Or the jewel case is rifled,

Or when the milk is missing

Or another Peke's been stifled

Or the greenhouse glass is broken

And the trellis past repair

There's the wonder of the thing,

Macavity's not there!

 

Macavity, Macavity,

There's no one like Macavity

There never was a cat of such

Deceitfulness and suavity

He always has an alibi

And one or two to spare

Whatever time the deed took place

Macavity wasn't there!

 

And when the Foreign Office

Find a Treaty's gone astray

Or the Admiralty lose some plans

Or drawings by the way

 

And when the loss has been disclosed

The Secret Service say:

"It must have been Macavity!"

But he's a mile away.

 

You'll be sure to find him resting

Or a-licking of his thumbs

Or engaged in doing complicated

Long division sums

 

Macavity, Macavity

There's no-one like Macavity

There never was a cat of such

Deceitfulness and suavity

He always has an alibi

And one or two to spare

Whatever time the deed took place

Macavity wasn't there!

 

And they say that all the cats

Whose wicked deeds are widely known

(I might mention Mungojerrie, Rumpelteazer, Griddlebone)

Are nothing more than agents for

The cat who all the time

Just controls the operations:

The Napoleon of crime!

 

Macavity, Macavity,

There's no one like Macavity

He's a fiend in feline shape,

A monster of depravity

You may meet him in a by street

You may see him in the square:

When a crime's discovered, then

Macavity's not there!

Macavity's not there!
We have to find Old Deuteronomy...